1. Is this what God wants for me and my family?
2. Where can I find help to cope with my problems?
3. Will there ever be real peace?

Seeing that I am sitting at my computer desk and what God wants for me…he wants me to take control of my life and be that happy girl I was a month ago when I could talk almost anyone into a conversation, smile or snort and bring on the small tears when I heard a sad story. Yes I know that a mental breakdown takes a bit to get over and this has been the toughest one yet. The medicine. The proof if my brain is in a positive state. If my thoughts are clear and powerful. If a week in a mental ward was enough to chemically satisfy my brain. God wants more for Matthew, my ummmm…disarrayed house and even my dog Boomer looks at me and says “What is your problem mom?”.

I can find hope to cope with my problems by researching on the internet and reading books to make me feel better. Today was the “Stop the Insanity” book that reminded me about how my weight has made people treat me differently. When I moved here 17 years ago, three weeks later meeting Matthew David, I was 180 lbs. and wore a size 16. I was tall and slender and we got a lot of looks where ever we would go. One side of me like attention and the other does not. My tipping ground at the moment is to get attention and I just have to figure out how.

Yes. There will ever be real peace. Peace of mind. Peace of heart. Peace of my past that gets filled in and no longer will I worry if I am from Ireland anylonger.