I’ve strongly believed that my manic behavior has been a part of my achievements since I was a child.  This huge push to be an intellectual people pleaser and laugh when I should be sobbing.  I’ve been diagnosed with severe bipolar I with mania, psychosis and suicidal depression.  Instead of sinking into the Earth, I fought hard to stay balanced with heavy medications and weekly therapy sessions.  The most useful class I completed was “Trauma Recovery” since I had a very tragic childhood experience filled with sexual assault, parental toxicity, and an absolute absence of love.

This Blog has been a way to explain and express my thoughts and feelings.  There may have raw thick chunks of honesty and real truth.  Bad things happened and just writing it out is an outpouring of my bare soul.  The hardest thing to do is saying I forgive people but I don’t.  The angel on one shoulder says I should and yet the devil on the shoulder wants me to drag around the pain untill I die.  I found the love I was searching for.  My deepest apologies for those that read and feel bad.  I also show resilience and appreciation for others.  My endless story has a happy ending.  That is my wish for human kind.